: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.