Im at strip club and am horny
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me