I must be too annoying 4 u.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.