I think im going to throw up on grandma
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.