you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's no shave November. This is our time.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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