i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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