my sisters under your porch take her home
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.