OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life