I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus