I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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