can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
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She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
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So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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