Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I believe in your delicious
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
