Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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