is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
