you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
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She bit a glass in half.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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