this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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