I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize