you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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