dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
