dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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