its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Text me some of your sweat
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize