Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize