Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
