so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize