I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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