My friends, they love my intelligence
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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