I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize