I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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