I think I died a long time ago.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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