Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
how drunk are you?
Several
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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