Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
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