I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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