take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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