remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
