5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
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So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
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Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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