My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
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I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
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The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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