I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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