we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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