i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize