If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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