Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
