chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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