I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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