is your mom at the bar?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
