she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
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It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
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Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
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