I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
