i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize