Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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