so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
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It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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