Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize