Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
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He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
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Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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