Will you blow on my dice?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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