Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
