turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.