dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon