I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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